I can no longer hide my self-contained need to watch good TV. I started watching Gossip Girls again [Blair is my ABSOLUTE favourite bitch (at least she's gorgeous)], I watched ProDai Special Episode which left me drowning in tears and my wonderful sister just borrowed the entire 6 seasons of Sex and the City from her equally wonderful friend!!!!

*Faints from happiness* Gossip Girl + Sex and the City = random spouts of wannabe-socialite dialougues.

And there's still a lot of lovely new J-doramas waiting for me to watch. Like Absolute Boyfriend. Yatta!

I was reminded of my super long ago post doing reviews on magazines. And I faintly recall naming Cleo the most readable one. But now, I've decided tabloid is the way to go, so 8 Days is my newfound darling! Reading about random sex tips like raunchy hotel sex still cracks me up though.

On the list of calorie-killers in their Killer Issue:

Queuing: The next time you're standing in line at the ATM machine, post office,
or um, doughnut shop, silently curse the queue-cutters in front of you - don't.
Staying on your feet burns 36 more calories per hour than sitting down does. At least you'll be angry and skinny.

HAHAHAHAHA! I think that's super funny lah!

But it got me quite worried too, cos it mentioned that "Laughing uncontrollably" led to death in Alex Mitchell who laughed for 25 minutes straight. Oops. Note to self: Must stop laughing so much.

April Fool's tomorrow. Must start thinking of ways to prank people. (:

♥ 23:26

Revived love for Ashlee Simpson. I have a thing for hoarse voices.



I just wanna talk to you

My broken heart just has no use

I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah

Well everytime you try to tell me

Say the words that I'm the only

But I'm the one who's crawling on the ground

When you say love makes the world go 'round



Super old song from her first album. Still good, 'tho.



Too sick to go out tomorrow. :( FLEA MARKET!!!!!!!! It's amazing how the human body can become so weak within a few hours. Go away, fever+cold+cough (=flu?) Hate seeing the doctor, so shan't be going. Wish me well. Oh, maybe I'm allergic to Thai food. Getting a little rash on my arms now. Shucks.

♥ 02:11

Just when I set my mind to buying this top from David and Goliath (yay xinrong it's nice!), I forget my ibanking nick. Haven't used it in ages (due to high discipline in saving money), but I tried all the possible combinations already! *Growls*

And yay my previous post forced a few dead readers out.

More tomorrow. Must continue testing out IB nicks.

♥ 23:08

Taboo was dumb fun. We were practising during the few boring hours we had before the game with the cards Calvin kindly lent us (which he borrowed from Miss Angela Wu), and realised we kinda sucked at the game. Luckily we had stupid quotes to borrow from Lijie to make things easier.

I just peng-ed like totally when "I'm having a particular sore throat" came out. We managed to get into the semi-finals, but only because 2 out of the 3 Aquila teams were chosen (although we were the top scorer for Aquila!) Semi-finals kinda sucked, because we only guessed 12 words right (compared to Nazri's imba group which got 29 freaking words in 1 minute).

Main learning outcome of the day was the existence of such a word as ukulele. Oh, and making new friends whom we will likely not talk to anymore for the rest of our JC life.

Parents starting to nag about lack of studying. Getting increasingly irritated. Should sit with Rachel and Pamela in the morning more often because somehow the red tables near the labs make me feel like doing my tutorials.

And so I shall dedicate an extract from Eliot's famous poem "The Hollow Men" to the lost souls out there with an empty heart.

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope togetherand avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

So yes, those of you reading this, try not to make me feel so hollow and tag. I hate silent readers with a passion.

♥ 22:36

I just realised I have a strange obsession with the sky.

First thing I noticed while doing flag duty with Qianyu this morning was the beautiful sky.

Ain't it pretty? The sky was filled with just millions of these fluffy little clouds, like some endless cloud army. They really looked like happy little sheep jumping about the sky in complete oblivion to the rest of the world. Everytime I see such cute clouds I can't help but imagine little faeries and elves and the like dancing on top of them.

This one was taken on my way home from school. It's extremely different from the morning sky, which was calm and peaceful. This one was fiery and angsty. The lousy camera does it no justice, but the intensity of the red was so overwhelming I just stopped at the overhead bridge and stared at the sky.

And then I found several sky photos I took in the past. Two of them I particularly liked was taken in Japan last December.

I thought this was like a wisp of smoke. It's like someone's dreams drifting away. On further observation it seems like some mystic animal running. Doesn't it!

And this one seems kind of weird, but the sky was divided into two, one half heavily covered by the clouds, the other half completely clear. I thought that was really strange, so I captured the photo.

Maybe I have a secret love for photography I have yet to uncover :D

My sister is eloping to Vietnam with her boyfriend this Saturday, and my parents are driving off to Malaysia this weekend as well. Which means FREEDOM! Yea baby.

I was at the Dunman High vs VJC soccer match just now, and I thought I would feel just a little torn since I was from Dunman High after all, but a couple minutes into the game, all guilt left me and I found myself completely rooting for VJC. I mean, no offense, but soccer just ain't a Dunman thing. And even though the soccer captain is Ping Yen (which is seriously weird since he is so blur), I couldn't bear to watch the match without laughing.

Honestly the entire match was boring, and as expected, VJ won, 6-0. Nick looked so happy and was smiling so brightly! Probably because I was cheering for him. HAHAHA.

And Nadia said something which offended us Dunmanians. So what if we are cheena? Being an English school doesn't make VJ anymore superior than Dunman. I could point out so many ways VJ pale in comparison to Dunman, like how Victorians tend to be so much bitchier than our milder Dunman companions. And yes, I'm proud to say I'm from Dunman High.

Ending the whole episode was classic behaviour from Dianne's "loverboy". ROFL. That was seriously the most freaking gay thing ever, man.

And argh, to buy or not to buy? Should hide my ibanking device and POSB card just so I wouldn't spend anymore money. But AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......

♥ 20:44

I feel age catching up on me. It's getting more difficult for me to keep a smile on my face, more exhausting for me to maintain my composure everyday and ever tiring to switch between personas.

And here I am, talking like I'm turning 50 the next day or something, when I'm only 17, almost 18.

New blog skin, if you are super unobservant and have not figured that out for yourself yet. I think it's pretty interesting, I like photo collages! I would make my own blog skin, if only I could get hold of Photoshop. Still has not been able to download cracks or borrow from anyone.

Just finished downloading ayaka's mini concert thingy! So excited to watch it, her powerful vocals make me feel very high all the time. I think the number of videos my mum and I download in between us can last us a whole year.

Speaking of ayaka, I guess it might be fitting to explain how I named my blog. Real Voice is actually a song of the same title by ayaka (for those who do not know, she's the I Believe girl). I was actually deciding between this or Feel My Soul (a song by YUI! <3), but decided Real Voice was more representative of my desire to make my blog more, honest. Although I think for now it has not been extremely successful in attaining that aim. Haha.

In the same old recurring everyday, I had a dream,
“Where has my true self gone?”
The question was only followed by a loss for an answer.
Perhaps I should just put this question away somewhere...
After all, “losing” isn’t quite the same as “letting go”.
That question will surely come to me again in the faraway future.
But that’s alright, right? For this is who I am now...

This is probably most representative of the spirit of the song. I think it's quite true! I think I'm suffering from an identity crisis. (Daryl's nonsensical term of "splatterer" comes to mind, haha) But what the heck, we should all just clap and love.

♥ 22:06

I CEASE[d] my CT1s.

OK lah, that was an attempt at a joke. If you didn't get it, it means I got an A, a C, two Es and a S. The biggest joke of the day was that I got A for GP. I am so going to become Kam Fatt's new favourite student! I look forward to him calling my name endearingly in hope of some intellectual comment on current topic. Will try my best to impress him. It's already working! He praised me (OK lah, he praised the whole group of us) for being hardworking! HAHAHA. Realised today he has a freaking big gap between his two front teeth. Has urge to fill it up by dumping sand into it.

And the C was for literature, by the way. The superbly irritating thing was that I totally thought Duchess was easy, for I ended up screwing it up. Thank goodness for unexpected good results for Unseen Prose.

Cottage Waffle Place is good, people! It's at Suntec, at the entertainment centre area. I'm not being biased because it's my sister's friend's shop, the waffles are really good! Only thing that I'm still not very happy about is lack of space to enjoy the otherwise calming ambience. But yes, do try out their waffles with the ice cream, I love it!

Outings with the Living Pigs always end up in chaos as we talk and laugh really loudly. Usually I'm the one making the most noise but Lijie and Anthea make me pale in comparison. And I was secretly laughing to myself when Lijie saw "councillors' eye candy" at Subway and called him "oil rig". He wasn't wearing his nominees' tag though :( Not that I wore it out all the time lah, but ya, must still impose the whole senior authority thing [though I failed].

Am looking forward to Inter-house Taboo Competition. Has got a strong feeling we will win.

Must stop ignoring need for subject in sentence structure.

And to all VS guys: Stop saying I look at my irritating cousin Jin Jian! It's pretty horrifying and nightmarish.

♥ 21:31

♥ 23:44

♥ 00:16

The travel bug has bitten me, and I REALLY REALLY, REALLY want to go overseas! Why the hell does Dubai cost so much? :( I didn't even bother asking my parents, knowing they will grumble that I'm spending so much of their money flying around.

But still....:(

Finally got around to uploading photos for people. I think my facebook exists just so I don't have to send photos to people. And my friendster is officially dead.

Today was quite a screwed up day. Will attempt to be a better person tomorrow, and stop rolling my eyes at people I absolutely cannot stand.

And Happy Belated Birthday to Nadia who doesn't read my blog, and Happy Birthday to Jonathan _(insert surname)_ who also does not read my blog! :D Realise I should have wished you guys when I saw you in school today, but it slipped my mind.

♥ 21:26

Yay, finally a full day off school! Although we seriously deserve more than one full day off, I'm still really glad to have a day off to relax.

Do VJ students really like Dhoby Ghaut or something? Everytime there's an outing or something, everyone will meet there. I swear I saw at least 10 different groups of VJ people in the City Hall/Dhoby Ghaut area today. (Including my new favourite cute J1 guy! HAHAHA)

I felt really inspired to do some scrapbooking while walking around made with love and spotlight today. But I am too lazy (as usual) to get started. Must really do something about my perpetual laziness.

Today was Avalon's outing, and I decided to go since I haven't exactly been turning up, and lo and behold, the outing consisted of only 4 people. -_- The usual suspects, Shi Han, Denis and Jie Hao were there, and of course the last person was me. But oh well, it was still fun! We went super budget and ate at the food court.

And Shi Han treated us to a movie (HAHAHAHA, evil laughter). The First Rule. I a bit cannot believe I agreed so readily, judging from how I loathe horror movies and get super paranoid weeks after watching one. But it was worth it lah. Even though the plot a bit make no sense, the idea of it all was still pretty cool. I am just slightly peeved by the ending. (Speaking of pet peeves, I shall blog about my list of pet peeves one day. Got super lots of them)

On the way home TVMobile was playing Maggi and Me. I couldn't look at Fiona Xie without seeing her dishevelled hair all over her face and her digging somewhere beneath her bloodied skirt pulling out a dead foetus. I swear that scene was creepy, and ultimately pervy. Perhaps it killed a little sexual desire in the guys after that scene.

Oh, if anyone knows of a certain lego game that involves the lego men as evil pirates and random driving scenarios, please tell me what that game is. I only have memories in the form of flashes of images but I remember that I used to enjoy playing that game alot! Gah.

And if anyone has photoshop please lend me. I am desperately looking for it again after my pirated version failed me.

♥ 23:45

Seriously, like WTH. HAHAHAHA. Ask me if you want to know what it means.

♥ 23:37

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own folks
talkin' 'bout our own stuff
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you

So cool right! Or at least I'm telling myself that in an effort to forget my extremely screwed up CTs. S E E, what the hell lah >_> I don't know whether to be grateful or not that I have not gotten my Lit and GP papers back yet, they are subjects I'm supposed to be good at.

and then I laugh, always laughing

Sometimes I get quite amused by how people have higher expectations of me than I have of myself. I seriously wonder what Mrs Koh told Mrs Choo to make her think I am the ace chem student she thinks I am (she came up to scold me about my chem result! T_T). And people always assume I get straight As one. :( The last time that happened was in IP2, thank you very much. Luckily for myself I don't get stressed by anyone except myself. HAHA. (which is often not a very good thing)

OK lah, but I still [not so] secretly [after all] expect myself to get 4As for A-levels >_<

My favourite joke when people see me after a long time is how they always assume I have a wild and roaring love and social life. Like, "hey, so how's things with your boyfriend?" "Excuse me, what boyfriend?" -_- HAHAHA.

Arts Day, full day, holiday. Hurray, Yay. (That was the best rhyme I've made in years! :D)

I do think I have a good sense of humour.

P.S. Am blogging so often I suspect this is the peak of my current blogging career. Hur hur.

♥ 20:54

I have a sudden, indescribable, unexplainable love for all music loud and rocking. Then I will pretend I can play the drums and attempt to follow the beat. I still believe I have natural talent for percussions, ok.

8 hours till lessons first begin, and it's PE. Such a horrid thought, mingled with sweat and muscle ache.

1 year from now, I wonder where I'll be. Sometimes I expect so much of myself I think I will hurt alot when I fall. But then again, you get nowhere without dreams. And that is why I love Gatsby so much! But I would rather dream on with no end in mind then be disillusioned eventually.

I suddenly feel like summer is really approaching!

When the ices melt I began to sing a joyful melody
An orchestra of ukuleles strumming in the sweetest key
Summer rains are falling from the sky

Yay. :D

♥ 00:08

This thing is freaking cute lah! HAHA, I randomly searched Rilakkuma and found this website which allowed me to make doll images, and here's my creation! There's this absolutely random Korean Rilakkuma princess, but it's also my favourite amongst them. :)

So today was the ODAC DARE thing, and I dare swear I had never spent 4 hours feeling so bored before. I was staring at this:

♥ 19:34

I have tsuki akari no shita de [MONGOL 800!!!] on repeat for like many many times already. It's the perfect song for hiding under my covers with doughnut (laughs). It sings about such happy and sweet love it makes me want to cry!

二人で笑い歩んできた道
これからのずっとよろしくね

Have no idea how to best translate that, but ain't it sweet? Suddenly I feel like my Japanese has improved so much. Must be due to replaying Ai-chin's speeches during her concerts over and over again to try to understand what the hell she is saying. Extreme sense of achievement overwhelms me. :D

I think whenever I take public transport alone people think I am crazy. But it's just extremely natural for me to sing along to the music I'm listening to or attempt to follow the drum beats. HAHAHA.

Alright, am currently extremely busy with college magazine/newsletter things. I was really excited by it actually, but now that the workload is increasing I feel like I'm getting crushed under it. But I'm OK now, chatting with people online and reading really bad jokes make me feel happier! :) I am so easily satisfied.

I'm in one of my rare reflective moods today. Looking back at my life I can't help but wonder what I have achieved in these past 17 (almost 18) years. Sometimes I try so hard and I don't even know what it's all worth at the end of the day. Friends may eventually leave you and things you do will no longer seem significant to you after a few years.

But at least I can tell myself I tried. And I guess I am one of those people who live in the moment and forget all about it after a while. So yes! Aja Aja! (See, I am speaking incoherently again that even I have no clue what I'm trying to say)

Maybe my first new year resoution should be to be friendlier to everyone. Sometimes I can't help saying biting remarks to certain people. xD

Ohoh, today I met my PRC buddy for the next two weeks. When they all entered the room, I had this strange feeling that she was going to be my buddy, and sure enough she was! I'm pretty confused about what to expect of her though. She seems relatively enthusiastic, but then again that might mean she's one of those fake people I cannot stand (ahem) or she is just pure brimming with passion.

I mean, the first thing she did was to hook her arm around mine! I was kind of shocked, but remained calm and composed and chatted with her. And she has already started texting me already!

....cue silence...

Just hope my fears turn out to be unfounded. Shall stop being bitchy.

I need shopping to free my soul! UGH.

♥ 23:50

It's just so bloody irritating when you finally have a week off school, and you end up sick. As soon as I reached home I started sneezing madly (might be due to mixture of rabbit and hamster fur, though) and just wanted to hide in my bed and sleep all the way till Sunday. AH-CHOO.

Sadly, there's still a lot of things waiting to happen this week. ODAC, why must you torture us and make us "volunteer" for your DARE thing? :( :(

OK, so I went for Elects Camp from Monday till today, and it was fun because we got to scold the juniors this time round. I remember feeling extremely jaded during my elects camp last year, though. Probably because SJ camps were like, thousand times worse than that >_> And masochistically, I kind of like doing pumpings.

Teddy is super super cute. Clara and I have such love for him. And Andy is totally the eye candy of like most of the female councillors. -_-

I think precisely because we had so much free time on hand, I do feel like I'm closer to some of the councillors now. Spent a lot of time just talking crap to lots of random people. Just hoping this feeling will last. OK, here I am, being all pessimistic again.

Seems like many many things are happening so fast I'm not having the time to think about them properly. Haven't done a proper blog post in like, a year. Should really take some time out to construct my thoughts properly.

*Sneeze* There I go again :(

♥ 21:51

I am utterly, irritated with my bloody phone.

I can't even concentrate on studying for Bio anymore. It's 11.13pm, and I have evolution&diversity, isolating genes, nervous system and mitosis to go.

I'd love to SCREAMMMMMMMMM out loud now.

Word of advice: NEVER EVER buy Nokia phones ever again! My second Nokia, and full of problems as always. Or maybe Nokia just hates me.

Bloody hell.

♥ 23:13