I feel age catching up on me. It's getting more difficult for me to keep a smile on my face, more exhausting for me to maintain my composure everyday and ever tiring to switch between personas.

And here I am, talking like I'm turning 50 the next day or something, when I'm only 17, almost 18.

New blog skin, if you are super unobservant and have not figured that out for yourself yet. I think it's pretty interesting, I like photo collages! I would make my own blog skin, if only I could get hold of Photoshop. Still has not been able to download cracks or borrow from anyone.

Just finished downloading ayaka's mini concert thingy! So excited to watch it, her powerful vocals make me feel very high all the time. I think the number of videos my mum and I download in between us can last us a whole year.

Speaking of ayaka, I guess it might be fitting to explain how I named my blog. Real Voice is actually a song of the same title by ayaka (for those who do not know, she's the I Believe girl). I was actually deciding between this or Feel My Soul (a song by YUI! <3), but decided Real Voice was more representative of my desire to make my blog more, honest. Although I think for now it has not been extremely successful in attaining that aim. Haha.

In the same old recurring everyday, I had a dream,
“Where has my true self gone?”
The question was only followed by a loss for an answer.
Perhaps I should just put this question away somewhere...
After all, “losing” isn’t quite the same as “letting go”.
That question will surely come to me again in the faraway future.
But that’s alright, right? For this is who I am now...

This is probably most representative of the spirit of the song. I think it's quite true! I think I'm suffering from an identity crisis. (Daryl's nonsensical term of "splatterer" comes to mind, haha) But what the heck, we should all just clap and love.

♥ 22:06